Que será, será

After I dropped my kids at school the other day, a drive in silence sounded like a great idea. We had a bit of a rough week so a moment to breathe was necessary. As I was driving back to town, a car drove past me blasting the song, “Que Será, Será” Something about those words triggered a memory of a very special moment I experienced an epiphany.

January 2011: Six months have passed with no ovulation in sight; I decided to put my dreams in writing and create a list of my favorite names. We all feel lost at times; I thought maybe if I were to reflect my hopes on paper, it would make going through this journey a little bit easier.

Over the course of time the list grew longer and trying to keep my hopes up was becoming a huge struggle. Until the night we heard her name. Something about the sound of that name and the way we both reacted to it filled my heart with hope again. I remember taking the list and ripping it into pieces because it felt like the right thing to do. Maybe I was angry at the list? I can’t really remember all of that. Either way, this shifted my mind onto something else that kept me going.

 

Moving on to 2015, Lyla Victoria Ramona Petit was already one year old and we where expecting a baby boy! Everything happened so sudden, that I didn’t even get a chance to think about a name this time. My husband always wanted to name his son after his grandfather Raymond but we already used the female version of that name for Lyla because we where not certain that another child was even an option.

Since our little family was growing my husband suggested that we move into his father’s property in town; what I call “The Old House in Marigot”. I was so excited because I was in love with the charm of that house and his father renovated it just for us.

 

One day his father called him as we where passing through town. I clearly remember my husband saying: “We’re passing in front of “Lukey House”. Suddenly I felt that energy again. I had totally forgotten that this was how they identified that house. Luke was the name I’ve been waiting to hear! Lyla and Luke; the sounds matched so beautifully. Of course my husband was overjoyed with the idea because Luke Peterson played a huge role in his father’s life.

“The future’s not ours to see.”

Lyla felt right, because her name means Night. The perfect reflection of how my journey felt through those years. Even on my darkest nights I never stopped wishing upon the stars. Then suddenly there was Luke, an unexpected surprise even our doctor was in shock. The attraction was so appropriate as the meaning of his name is Light Giving.

Every time I think I have it all mapped out, life purposely changes my direction. This used to make me feel extremely frustrated and hopeless. The moment I read the words “Light Giving” something clicked; this journey was not made for me to control, it was made for me to explore, to be challenged and make me grow even more resilient for the next “what will be, will be”.

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