Unexpected Kindness

“Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change.”

– Bob Kerrey

Oh my do I remember that day. I remember the dreadful stares as I apologized to my daughter for being inconsiderate of her needs to cope with the simple things in life.

Yes I know other children have meltdowns too, but trust me this is not the same. You see other kids do this because they are not getting what they want. Lyla on the other hand wasn’t getting what she needed. She looked like a total spoiled brat and I was probably the fool apologizing. But this wasn’t the first time and for sure not the last.

 

I remember after we lost our house in Irma, I took the children home to Bonaire. We didn’t know how long we would have to stay while my husband arranged a new place for us to live, so I put them in school to keep them busy and give myself some times to recover. My mom took the opportunity to spend time with her and asked me if she could drop her off at school one day. A couple of minutes later she called in a panic mode! “I’m never doing this again, what the hell she wouldn’t stop screaming. I don’t understand!”

I asked her a couple of questions trying to figure out what happened. Lyla loves school so why would she be this upset? After a couple of minutes talking, she mentioned taking a different route. Oh Boy, you don’t want to do that now! Not with a child like Lyla. Because they have such a hard time understanding spoken language, they have this need to stick to what feels comfortable. They have this extremely strong need for routine.

 

So I apologized to her because I understood my mistake. I should have known better than to take the basket. This meltdown was on me. But the experience was different this time. The energy of this little boy’s smile saved me from having my own meltdown that day. I suddenly quit acknowledging those dreadful stares.

Even though Lyla didn’t understand what the boy was telling her and totally ignored him (obviously not on purpose), that boy gave her more than just a lollipop and a smile. He filled my heart with hope and freed me from my own negative thoughts regarding my parenting.

One year later, Lyla no longer has these types of meltdowns, only the occasional totally typical little girl ones. Thanks to Dr Treffert’s Hyperlexia Manual that I received since July 2017, I have learned so much about how to communicate with her. This summer we had a huge breakthrough because she suddenly started speaking in sentences and understanding much more spoken language.

 

At 5 years old this is a good thing for a child with Hyperlexia. She now wakes up every morning and tells me what day it is, (oh yeah she’s totally obsessed with the days of the week and never forgets what day it is today, yesterday or tomorrow) then proceeds to mention how happy she is that she is going to see her friends and how much she loves her teacher Nat, and Makima (Marina). I can only imagine her improving more and more, because she finally feels understood and this has opened up so much for her.

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